Seriously, who can afford to watch movies anymore? It can take weeks for new releases to become available on Netflix or at Redbox, new DVDs run an average of $15 a pop, and you’ll be hard pressed to find a Blockbuster near you. So if you want cinematic fun on a budget, roll up your sleeves, and dig through that DVD bargain bin to uncover one of these little-known titles. For extra credit, have your favorite libation on hand and play each film’s accompanying drinking game.
Plot: An unlikely gang of preteens step up to fight off a menacing gang of mythical foes. The bad guys, led by Dracula himself, include a mummy, swamp creature, and werewolf. You’ll laugh, you’ll cringe, you’ll ask yourself how it’s rated PG-13.
Why you’ll love it: It’s “Stand by me,” meets “The Lost Boys.” Enough said.
The leader of the Monster Squad rocks a bright yellow tee that reads “Stephen King Rules” in red lettering. What I wouldn’t give to own that shirt.
Best scene: After delivering a punishing kick to the werewolf’s groin, token fat kid Horace exclaims, “Wolfman’s got NARDS!”
Drinking game: Drink every time Rudy does something awesome or drops a sick catchphrase.
Plot: Two (seemingly) hardened criminals, played by Ryan Phillipe and Benicio Del Toro, bite off more than they can chew when they kidnap the pregnant surrogate mother of a rich bad guy.
Why you’ll love it: Whether you like your men clean and primped, or filthy and rough, you’ll find some masturbatory material in Phillipe or Del Toro. The pair have chemistry on screen, and each appear to be halfway trying to earn their paychecks.
Best scene: In the first five minutes, a loud-mouthed, shit-talking Sarah Silverman gets pummeled by Phillipe’s character. Seriously, he beats the shit out of her. And politically correct or not, it’s pretty satisfying for the audience. Check it out here.
Drinking game: Drink every time a character puts their finger on the trigger.
Plot: This remake is centered on undercover cop Joey Gazelle, played by Paul Walker. Don’t let Walker scare (Did you catch that? “Scare you?” Puns!) you away from this intense film. Family man Gazelle embarks on a dangerous mission to recover a rare pistol, or risk blowing his cover. He faces down child molesters/murderers, pimps, junkies, and the mob.
Why you’ll love it: You will inevitably press play on this movie with low expectations, and be delighted when the stunning visuals, shocking subject matter, and decent acting surpass that low bar. Also, Running Scared ranks in the top 10 films with the most uses of the word “fuck.”
Best scene: Not to give anything away, but the climax includes pro hockey players, blacklights, and puck shots to the face.
Drinking game: Take one sip for every “fuck.” Not a shot, a sip. We don’t want anyone dropping dead, OK?
Plot: An everyday divorcee takes a break from performing abortions to save the world from a pair of renegade angels. The most underrated of Kevin Smith’s films, Dogma criticizes Christianity from start to finish. Although my knowledge of the Bible is minimal, I was cracking up at the references I DID understand.
Why you’ll love it: Some of the best comedians in the business convene to point out the inconsistencies in Catholic rhetoric, in a way that makes you feel smart for laughing. Also, I think we can all agree that Alan Rickman is the fucking man.
Best scene: Alanis Morrisette’s short time on screen is a welcome surprise. Trust me, you’ll love it.
Drinking game: Drink for every Star Wars reference.
What are your favorite bargain bin flicks? Leave your campy, cheesy favorites in the comments!