10 fool-proof excuses for cheating on your diet

10 fool-proof excuses for cheating on your diet // A Light Edit

If only we were as good at following healthy eating plans as we are at skirting them, we’d all be slim. After shedding nearly 40 pounds, I’d like to think I’m a pretty disciplined eater. But I admit, I’m not always well-behaved. On those days when I consume twice my allotted calories, skip the gym, and close the day with a slice of cake, I have about a million excuses why my behavior is acceptable.

Here are my go-to rationalizations for when I cheat on my diet.

“So if one serving is the size of a fist, I’m OK. As long as I’m measuring these tortilla chips against the fist of the Incredible Hulk.”

“Why yes, I will have one of those cupcakes. I walked a lot today. It will all even out.”

“I don’t have to hit the gym tonight. These pants are a bit loose, so I can stand to gain a pound this week.”

“If nobody sees me eat it, technically I didn’t eat it. Yup, it’s science.”

“Popcorn is whole grain so it’s actually good for you. This entire bucket of movie theater popcorn only contains, like, 300 calories.”

“Yeah, I stopped at McDonald’s. But I had a chicken sandwich. At least I didn’t eat the two Big Macs I truly wanted.”

“I probably overestimated the calorie count of my lunch, so if I have a handful of M&Ms, I’ll still be on target for the day.”

“Sure, I’m drinking booze. But it’s wine! It’s made from grapes! Top me off, would you?”

“Fuck it, I’m getting a bacon cheeseburger for lunch. I’ll just go for a run after work, then have kale for dinner.”

“Did we eat a pizza after the bar last night? (shrug) If I can’t remember it, I didn’t eat it.”

What goes through your head when you’re cheating on a diet? Tell me in the comments or tweet me, so I can beef up my arsenal of excuses.

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