Growing up, books were my friends. Sad, I know. So I’ve honed a tendency to develop an intense love for fictional characters. When it comes to my favorites, I like to pretend they all exist in the same universe, and live on long after the final page.
So here are the next chapters of the lives of my favorite characters from The Wire, as imagined by me.
Cutty applies boxing acumen to fight zombies
The only environment tougher than The Wire’s Baltimore is the ravaged post-apocalyptic wasteland featured in The Walking Dead. Which is why Cutty is well suited for survival. I imagine the criminal-turned-boxer was opening the boxing gym for the day when a horde of zombies rumbled inside. And one by one, Cutty beheaded them with an axe. He later ventured out in search of safety and came upon a band of survivors, and eventually Rick Grimes and family. From there, he got comfortable at the prison where he once served time, and became Rick’s right-hand man.
Carcetti drops bid for governor after Littlefinger controversy surfaces
After the events depicted in The Wire concluded, Mayor Carcetti pursued gubernatorial office. Until, that is, his connection to centuries-dead businessman and crooked politician Peter “Littlefinger” Baelish of Game of Thrones fame surfaced. The fine people of Baltimore were outraged their mayor descended from a brothel-owning, pandering, cheating politician like Littlefinger, and Carcetti was impeached and forced to rescind his bid for governor.
Stringer Bell falls into coma, captains spaceship in mind
Despite McNulty’s assertion that Stringer Bell was found dead on arrival, the crime lord wasn’t quite deceased. In fact, he was only brain dead and in a deep coma. It was in his own subconscious that Bell assumed the role of a spaceship captain who led a mission aboard Prometheus to a far away planet. Only when he sacrificed himself for the imaginary mission could he consciously come to terms with the sins of his life of crime, and die peacefully.
Beadie tires of McNulty, hooks up with regional manager of Dunder Mifflin
Officer Beadie was the only character to tame Agent McNulty, however brief their romance was. But when the famous drunk reverted to his old ways and royally fucked up their relationship, Beadie packed up and moved to Scranton Pennsylvania. It was there she put her people skills to use as an HR representative at paper company Dunder Mifflin. The world of The Office was a welcome reprieve from her hectic life. She soon fell for bumbling regional manager Michael Scott, and the pair lived happily ever after.
Editor falls into meth business upon collapse of newspaper industry
Baltimore Sun Managing Editor Thomas Klebanow was in a tough position when his beloved publication went under. Not only were jobs tight across the newspaper industry, his former employer was known for printing false accounts of fake stories involving murders of homeless men. So when he had nowhere else to turn, the writer teamed up with Gustavo Fring of Breaking Bad and began cooking meth in partnership with Walter White.
Tell me I’m not the only one who’s nerdy enough to imagine the future lives of fictional characters, across fictional universes. Tell me in the comments about your favorite character’s future lives, or tweet me!